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Saturday, February 18, 2012

......Count No Man Lucky

…..I mentioned in an earlier post that I’ve somehow made it, (miraculously), to the “5 score +” point in the years category of marking time ( Well past my “half life” as one of my
bouncers in a former life of mine once described my relative age!). In my working experience along this seemingly uncharted course, I’ve held quite a few very different unrelated positions in which I was able to put together “some coin” and manage to eek out some sort of sustainable existence (some better than others). No complaints here in this department, I’ve Made some Money…I’ve Spent some Money. Now if the Truth be Told, I’ve Spent more money than I’ve ever actually Made which can present some fairly serious financial hiccups from Time to Time, that can, (and Do), produce some relatively uncomfortable Stresses “a veces”, but, really on the whole I’ve developed some fairly good memories (-and Stories) which I’ve “banked” from these spending episodes so I can’t really complain too loudly or too frequently.

In my history I’ve also had the opportunity to make the aquaintence of more than a few people, some of these folks started out as business associates and some of these have become friends. The opposite has occurred less frequently, but here recently, I’ve even had an “old friend, or two” wind up in the business category…perhaps we’ll even be able to put a few coins together, hopefully some time in the very near future, although currently at least, that remains to be seen.

During the course of my overall employment history I’ve been fortunate enough ,at times again, to ask for and to be granted salary increases and various promotions that were marginally rewarding on the financial side….I’ve also had some other episodes where the job market dried up, so to speak, and the pluses turned to minuses in no short order! Que Sera Sera! S!#% t Happens, right…Now the Bigger Problem that I’ve encountered has to do with the unfortunate fact that although my own ability to put together “Paper and Coins” has been impacted negatively occasionally, my financial obligations could always seem to care less! The Bills that I incur never take the same fiscal vacations that my paychecks seem to book….as much as I’d like to get the two of them to agree upon getting together to appreciate this quality time, “these two” just don’t seem to want to enjoy each others’ “good company”! …..I’ve found this paradox to be less than emotionally rewarding. C’mon can’t we all just get along?

Here recently my current financial position has taken an unfair pounding in relationship to my own perceived quality of life…..DammitMan. How terribly disrespectful of my wallet and the things that are supposed to be residing there!

What strikes me as horribly unfair, as far as I’m concerned at least, is that somewhere along the line not only have my dollars and cents gone off on respite…not only have my obligatory financial burdens not vacationed with them….now apparently I’ve come to believe that my Car put in for, and, unbeknownst to me, was actually approved for a “raise” while I wasn’t looking! That’s right, my Car.

Now my Car and I have been in a relationship together for going on 6 years or so. When we were first introduced over half a decade ago we had both been involved in previous relationships with others. We don’t speak of these previous entanglements very often but we both know that they’ve existed and we’re Ok with that. We’re also, both of us, Older now…surely Wiser…hopefully less apt to make the same mistakes again because of our shared experience. One would think that our special time together during this involvement would have served to “bond” us together, to make us somehow stronger as we traversed the often hostile environment that is our shared existence as “a Couple”. How very surprised I was indeed when I uncovered the actual Truth regarding this decidedly uneven playing field where I resided. We both (my Car and I) know what our paycheck looks like….C’mon, we’ve spent the last 5+ years together….years of Joy (Sometimes)….years with some degree of Pain (in the financial sense, Sometimes)…. Our shared Experience if you will.

Over the course of the last little while here my Automobile, (-that’s the Word that I use to describe my “Car” when I’m angry with “It”, like saying someone’s full name rather than their nickname when making an exclamatory point!), quite callously…. behind my back, if you will, started making more money than Me! Really. Just over a week ago, while I wasn’t paying attention, “It” put in for a timing-belt….I don’t recall being part of this decision-making process. I, of course, had to respond favorably to this completely disrespectful and expensive request. Why was I not involved in such an absurd discussion regarding our financial position beforehand,....doesn’t seem fair from my point of view at least. Why were we keeping these secrets from each other? What had I done to have so negatively impacted our relationship with one another. Was it something I said….something I did……some perceived slight?! I, for one, can’t get my head around what it is that I have done that could have caused “us” to move so very far apart in such short order. I thought we were “Bigger” than that!! Adding salt to the wound, my Car has now put in for a further Increase!….Ball Joints and Control Arms (-Upper and Lower…Both sides!)…really, I don’t know if our relationship will be able to withstand this current back-stabbing behavioral setback. Do I deserve such despicable treatment…..I’ve been pretty faithful…..pretty loyal on the whole. I mean there was the one time around Christmas that I splurged and bought myself the “Special Double Holiday Edition” of the duPont Registry Car magazine, but hell my Car took me to and from the store where it was ultimately purchased so, really, that one memorable incident wasn’t exactly something that I even half-heartedly attempted to Hide! I haven’t exactly been sniffing around the local car dealerships or searching the classifieds looking to discover a more attractive replacement nor do I recall speaking inappropriately in front of my Car’s back about not being satisfied with our current “Situation”!

I am beginning to suspect that this could turn out to be the Beginning of the End for Us! Tragic really. We’ve both invested so very much time together over years, mind you. I for one am perhaps more apt to remember the good times than the bad ones….I may have even seen this coming if I had but paid more careful attention to “her” needs. What is it that they say?….Apathy breeds apathy? Who knows really, I will try and remain hopeful that we can resolve our current conflict, surely an apology of sorts will be forthcoming….at this point all I can do is wait and see whether this great deal of Time that we have spent w/one another will be able to somehow help us to sort through our current problems and heal these festering financial wounds…..I will try and remain optimistic and hope for the best.

…..Wait, Two Front Tires -and a Motor Mount!!….It never Ends…..Count no Man Lucky until the day He Dies….

Friday, February 10, 2012

....."is the Place to Be"

I found myself riding home from work this evening with a friend of mine, I should say an old friend of mine probably. My car had decided that yesterday was as good a time as any to deliver its latest round of negative karma to me in the form of total engine failure on a busy highway in Asheville (another story altogether), and at any rate that’s why my buddy and I were sharing a ride.

It’s funny to me the broad range of purely ridiculous topics that Jeff and I so often find ourselves discussing, also particularly disturbing, in retrospect mind you, is the passionate quality of the debate on said discussed topics….. .For instance, somehow, don’t ask, the “discussion” began with the topic of people talking on their cellphones while driving and thereby recklessly endangering the lives of others with their irresponsible behavior. Reasonable discussion, responsible subject matter, adult oriented cautious-minded discourse……in a span of 4 or 5 minutes of highway driving, at an alarming rate of speed as I recall, (of course I only always notice this particular fact when I’m not the one driving!) we were in the middle of a debate as to how many people would be involved in this despicable behavior out of the next 10 cars that we passed (again, at Jeff’s normal alarming rate of speed). Taking our own responsible highway driving focus from the task at hand and redirecting said focus towards now trying to steal a glance into the drivers side windows of the cars that we passed (did I mention the “alarming rate of speed”?) in order to keep score of the # of reckless cellphone addicted drivers along our hurried path! In the course of our journey back to Black Mountain and while still keeping “score” we passed a narrow grassy median right next to the highway with what must have been literally 30 turkeys grazing on god only knows what. Our conversation changed directions immediately and without so much as a hiccup we were discussing the possibility of some pickup driving Swananoan hillbilly-type stopping there on the side of the highway to collect dinner for his inbred brood in the trailer park down in the holler. Could happen.

As we made our way off the main highway and began the last short leg of our journey veering (at a reduced rate of alarming speed) onto Old Highway70 through Swananoa/Black Mountain, the conversation took a hairpin curve and somehow arrived abruptly at a new but equally invigorating subject: “Green Acres“. All of a sudden the characters of Fred Ziffle (“Mr.“ for the less familiar) and Arnold, Mr. Haney, Eb, Mz. Douglas; the telephone that could only be accessed by climbing the pole, all of that useless trivia nonsense that represented our “re-memory” of that long ago watched show re-surfaced for absolutely No Good Reason! With 5 minutes left to complete our trip we found that after what has to have easily been 25 years or better we still somehow remembered every word to every verse of that long since wrapped up show!…….I took an entire semester of Geometry in High School pretty much around the same time as I occasionally watched that less than intelligently stimulating show…………….I can remember every word of the Green Acres theme song………every word mind you…….. apparently I can even halfway sing it between gales of laughter at the absurdity of my uncanny ability to be able to recall such wholly disuseful information……………….but, for the life of me, I could not at gunpoint begin to recall even one “theorem” from my time spent that semester at Page High!!!