Although there really is very little rhyme or reason (~certainly not “Reasoning”) involved in these essays that I post from time to time, I suppose that even where fiction is concerned there is always some element, or aspect, that comes from within the author himself however ridiculous, inane, horrible or even comically intended that piece may be.
I write because I feel moved to do so, whether it’s because I feel compelled to describe some truly weird event happening in my terribly uninteresting life, or because I’m bored of my so-called existence here and would rather choose to express something more compelling (-to me mind you) than to contemplate another useless day of my own as it would normally unravel before me.
Some of the folks who read the things that I write are friends and family members and I am honored that they take the time occasionally to glance here and to look at what I have to say every so often. Apparently some of the individuals reading my page wandered here haphazardly perhaps led by some poorly constructed search engine –I am tickled to have tricked them to my lair as well. Both camps arrived at the same place albeit for completely different reasons I assume –“thankyou very nice” as Andy Kaufman used to say.
Now I regard myself, mistakenly I should add, to be what I consider rather “Uber-Savvy” when it comes to reading other people, and I don’t mean their books or writing although I’m also a voracious reader (-this isn’t bragging, I just happen to lead a very bland and boring life so I tend to salt it with lots of good fiction, tah-dah). Now what I consider myself to be and where I actually land within this spectrum are often whole worlds apart. Someone says or sometimes writes something and I say, “Ah ha”, figuratively, and I think to myself how very smart I must be to read between the lines and understand some subtlety or secret quality that this individual is expressing –I think that I have somehow learned something about the relationship between myself and this person, or perhaps I think that I have unearthed some important nuance regarding how they may view their world and in turn how possibly that may affect me.
Perhaps everyone does this very thing that I am trying to describe here. Conceivably everybody attempts to use their own roughhewn tools of observation to better unearth the psychological shards and artifacts in the others that they come across in order to obtain some sort of an advantage in their dealings with them and with others like them.
Like some short-circuit to understanding, this more often than not leads to real imagined misunderstandings.
Hopefully if you have stumbled upon my page and come back to find it again then you have found something here that you have been able to enjoy in some sense. If indeed you know me from past experiences that we have shared and in turn read something real or fictional that I have written and think that you have possibly discovered some well hidden insight into my deeply disturbed psyche you may be Uber-savvy and clever, and then again you may be utterly mistaken. Either way I hope that at any rate no offense is taken and can assure all that none is ever intended.
I tend to write observationally more often than not but sometimes I like to throw out a curveball and write something more comically or dramatically philosophic, and sometimes I just throw caution to the wind and express something fictional. Whatever comes out onto this page typically does so in a spur of the moment extemporaneous fashion. Steam of Consciousness is a term that implies something more in the realm of an artistic or fashionably creative process and although personally I like the sound, the “ring” of it, it is well beyond describing what I am currently and quite possibly ever capable of producing either here or anywhere!
If as you read this rather longwinded piece you find yourself wondering if indeed I am speaking directly to you rather than trying to create some excruciatingly lengthy disclaimer about any commentary written within this site, then I am doing what I assume all writers are in some way trying to do –reach you or connect with you on some personal level. Personally I’d like to believe that occasionally I do connect with some of you –Realistically it’s more likely than not that I am reading a bit too much between my very own lines, “thankyou very nice.”